With his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, humour writer Geordie Telfer rewrites some of the most celebrated and significant moments our country’s history with everything from reality game shows to some interesting “what-ifs”:
• The Plains of Abraham—Commander’s Corner: If a couple of hockey commentators were hired to commentate on the 250th anniversary re-enactment of the Battle of the Plains of Abraham, what would happen?
• Almanack for the Invasion of Canada: What to do in case of imminent invasion by the US. Includes practical household tips!
• Sir John Franklin, Season 1: The ill-fated explorer’s first voyage to the Arctic re-told as a reality TV show. If the ratings hadn’t been so good, lives might have been saved!
• Fur Trade Monopoly: Games night with the family will never be the same as you compete for utter dominance of Canada’s fur trade!
• The Charlottetown Conference of 1864: When the circus comes to town all those stodgy delegates in their stuffy top hats really cut loose!
• 24 (short films about Tommy Douglas): Starring his real-life grandson, Kiefer Sutherland. Read the scripts and save the world (or at least universal healthcare)
• A Hipster in the Diefenbunker: The cold war heats up with an unlikely run-in between a jive talking hipster and the Canadian establishment
• Stephen Harper Applies for EI: If you have a government job and are the head of the government are you not, ipso facto, self-employed? Find out…
• Heritage McMoments: An indelicate skewering of our tendency to idealize Canada’s past, because, really, who cares if young John Diefenbaker once sold a newspaper to Wilfrid Laurier?