''Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six and write down five.''
Mulligans, holes-in-one, men vs. women, impossible shots... the best way to deal with your golf addiction is to laugh at it:
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sheer nightie. ''Tie me up,'' she purred, ''and you can do anything you want.'' So he tied her up and went golfing.
Did you hear the one about the wife who got hit in the head with a golf ball on the first hole and died? The husband was so distraught he only played the front nine.
Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Wife: You think so much about your golf game you don't even remember when we were married
Husband: Of course I do, dear. It was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt.
The difference between golf and tennis is that tennis is murder -- you just want to kill the other player -- but golf is suicide -- you just want to kill yourself.
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Murphy's Laws Of Golf
A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive.
Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.
There is no such thing as a friendly wager.